Letter To Myself This Year - BLOGMAS DAY 13

Happy Blogmas day 13 everyone! I'm just going to jump straight into this one... 

Dear 2018 Shannon,

What a year it has been. Isn't that the most cliché thing that could ever be said at the end of any year? I mean, it's fucking true though. The ups and downs have been real. 

Amazing ups and terribly low, lows. The ups were more often than last year, that was great. We went on loads of lovely holidays, had almost anxiety free holidays (AMAZING!) saw bands we've loved for years and enjoyed ourselves on days when there wasn't even much to do.

The lows were rubbish, mental health issues were still at an all time high but also at a low, so it evened out at some points, right? We fought the mental health as hard as we could, made some changes and some that really helped in magical ways - even if it meant our credit card is suffering a bit, oops. Dad made us have squeaky bum time when he got poorly but he's that strong man we have adored all of our lives and fought through it even harder than we thought he would. What a hero. Something we will never forget.

Love with Dan grew stronger than we thought possible, remember 2017 when we met this boy, we're about to enter another year with him. Crazy! How many memories did we make? The holidays, the trips here and there, the laughs in our bedrooms which made us have belly aches. The love we have is so amazing. 

This year we watched Jensen grow into an incredible little two year old who is the funniest, most clever lad ever. He's become even more of a best friend and we have captured so many memories to look back on from his growing this year. 

One amazing thing that happened which I think we forget is that you got discharged from the eating disorder team. You gained your weight, got to a healthy weight and got discharged, that is FUCKING AMAZING. That has to be your proudest moment this year, never, ever take that for granted. It was the biggest step in your mental health journey so far, you beat that, you can beat anything. 

It's been an amazing year. Hard, but amazing and a year we will never forget. One to look back on with a full, but heavy heart. 

Thank you 2018 for the memories. 

My 2018 Goals

Hey everyone, firstly I want to wish you all a Happy New Year! I have a good feeling about this one...especially after the shit show of 2017. What the fuck was that, universe?!

I've got a few things I'd like to do and achieve this year and I am confident and motivated to do them! Here we go 2018...

Start Yoga

I've wanted to start yoga for a long time now but have either not had the motivation or confidence to do it. I feel like it's going to improve my mental health so much and make me feel so well in general. My best friend Ben gave me such a lovely Christmas present with Yoga Dice so once I start in a class I can then do it at home. It's going to be a big step, to either go alone or with a friend. I'm excited!

Write more

Whether that is on my blog or in a journal, I just want to write. I love writing, it really helps me and is therapeutic. Hence why I tend to always write a long blog post whenever I am really struggling. I've attempted journals for years, I have tonnes of books but this year I am going to write as much as I can, when I can!

Start a Youtube channel

This is something I've wanted to do since I was younger, I attempted it once when I done a vlog about the One Direction premiere and it was fucking tragic. I want to start doing videos talking about mental health, getting it out on a different platform and in a different way. I think it will be helpful for me and for other people too, what do you think?

Stay tidy! 

A tidy room equals a tidy mind if you ask me! My room needs decorating, it hasn't felt quite like home since I moved back into it earlier in the year after leaving the house I was renting with my ex boyfriend. It needs some TLC and I need to look after it more, it's my home after all and where I spend a lot of my time. I want to do it all up, make it tidy and nice and I think my mind will feel fresh because of it!

Say yes to plans 

In 2017 I became nervous whenever plans came about, there was a handful of people I was okay with seeing and that was it. I want to go and see my friends India and Damian more and hang out in their lovely home, I want to see Dans friends more without feeling unnecessarily nervous (anxiety, please suck my dick) and I just want to say yes more! I want to text friends I haven't seen in a while and go for a drink without thinking it's a burden on my day, I just want to enjoy myself again and I am going to. 2018 is the year I become a more confident person.

BE HAPPY

This is my ultimate goal this year and forever on wards. I want to break through my anxiety, depression and whatever the fuck else is going on in my silly head and be the happiest version of me. I have so much going for me, I have the potential to move to a better job, I have amazing friends and family, a lovely boyfriend and inside I have the drive to move forward. I will be happy this year, last year I spent most of the time being sad and worried, not this year, no thank you.

I am excited for what this year has to offer, let's go 2018, let's make it a good one!

x