Letter To Myself This Year - BLOGMAS DAY 13

Happy Blogmas day 13 everyone! I'm just going to jump straight into this one... 

Dear 2018 Shannon,

What a year it has been. Isn't that the most cliché thing that could ever be said at the end of any year? I mean, it's fucking true though. The ups and downs have been real. 

Amazing ups and terribly low, lows. The ups were more often than last year, that was great. We went on loads of lovely holidays, had almost anxiety free holidays (AMAZING!) saw bands we've loved for years and enjoyed ourselves on days when there wasn't even much to do.

The lows were rubbish, mental health issues were still at an all time high but also at a low, so it evened out at some points, right? We fought the mental health as hard as we could, made some changes and some that really helped in magical ways - even if it meant our credit card is suffering a bit, oops. Dad made us have squeaky bum time when he got poorly but he's that strong man we have adored all of our lives and fought through it even harder than we thought he would. What a hero. Something we will never forget.

Love with Dan grew stronger than we thought possible, remember 2017 when we met this boy, we're about to enter another year with him. Crazy! How many memories did we make? The holidays, the trips here and there, the laughs in our bedrooms which made us have belly aches. The love we have is so amazing. 

This year we watched Jensen grow into an incredible little two year old who is the funniest, most clever lad ever. He's become even more of a best friend and we have captured so many memories to look back on from his growing this year. 

One amazing thing that happened which I think we forget is that you got discharged from the eating disorder team. You gained your weight, got to a healthy weight and got discharged, that is FUCKING AMAZING. That has to be your proudest moment this year, never, ever take that for granted. It was the biggest step in your mental health journey so far, you beat that, you can beat anything. 

It's been an amazing year. Hard, but amazing and a year we will never forget. One to look back on with a full, but heavy heart. 

Thank you 2018 for the memories. 

2018 Travels - BLOGMAS DAY 12

Good day everyone, happy 12th day of Blogmas! 

This year has been lovely for my little travels. Let's have a little recap shall we...

COPENHAGEN & LOMMA; SWEDEN - FEBRUARY

I whisked Dan away like the smashing girlfriend I am to Copenhagen and to visit our friends in Sweden for a week. It was delightful. We did typical touristy things in Copenhagen - Tivoli Gardens, we saw Nyhavn which was stunning and strolled around the little streets. It was freezing cold and snowed which just made me so happy. It was the perfect way to celebrate Dans birthday and start the year off. 

Jönköping; SWEDEN - MAY 

So off I popped to my favourite place again with my best friends Sanna and Joe for baby Tova's Christening. This was a little break which I was so stoked for with my best friends. I unfortunately got super poorly on the holiday but I still enjoyed my time in this beautiful, picturesque place. I love it every-time and want a trip back in 2019 to see my second family! 

NERJA; SPAIN - JUNE 

Our 'main' holiday of the year was with Dans friends who have now become some of my best friends. 10 days in the sun in Nerja, somewhere I'd previously visited twice before. The beach is stunning, the food is fucking sweet as and the company was great. It was honestly the funniest 10 days I've had and I would do it all over again, it was something we all needed and it was just lovely. 

PARIS - SEPTEMBER 

This was my birthday present from Dan, a trip to Paris. In our heads it was going to be beautiful and romantic, it was actually quite grimy and weird. But who are we to complain, we got to spend some lovely time together and that's all that matters to us, no matter where we are in the world. Next year there are already plans and I can't wait to share some more adventures with Dan. 

Already have some  travel plans for next year...but for now they are a secret! 

Have a great day everyone x 

What am I grateful for? - BLOGMAS DAY 11

Hey everyone! 

I always speak about how important gratitude is to me and especially at this time of year, you reflect on what has happened and how you've managed to get through things. For that, I show gratitude. 

In life I am grateful for many things, here are just a few: 

FAMILY 

In what has been a hard year for my family, they've still all been there at the hardest time and as a family we have managed to get through everything together. Love has grown and bad times are replaced with this love and laughs. In the worst of times we build each other up and for that I am forever grateful. I am grateful for the house my parents have put over my head for 23 years and letting me come back when things in life haven't turned out right. I am grateful that my brother has always been my best friend and that he has brought my gorgeous nephew into my life to help my love and confidence to care for someone grow. 

I am beyond grateful to have my family, today, tomorrow and forever. 

me, my nephew and dan

DAN, MY BOYFRIEND

Love is so important to me so to be in love with this special human means the world to me. I've spoken about how much he's helped me grow as a person a billion times but god, I am so grateful for his existence. Without him the past 2 years would have gone a very different way because he picks me up the best he can, he wants to help me grow for our future together. He is incredible and I am so grateful for his love. 

MY FRIENDS

A few stand out - of course - but I am very lucky and grateful to have so many supportive friends in my life. Not everyone holds onto friends they made when they were little once they leave high school, luckily I did and for that I am so grateful. As we grow and we spend less time together the time we do means so much more as adults building our lives. It's great to see everyone grow. 

MY THERAPIST 

I've had a bunch of counsellors in my life but this year I had to go private because it was just time to take control myself. I met my therapist and he helped me to try and change my life. Through ups and downs I am so grateful to have found him, that he let me see life in a different way. Even though I am still having bad times they are less frequent than before. For that I am grateful. 

CREATIVITY 

I am super grateful for the creative blood that flows through me, I hadn't ever touched on it when I was young but as I grow I try to be creative everyday. It makes me feel great and like I'm spending my time more productively than before.

LIFE

As simple as that, I am grateful for life and for the things it is due to bring to me. 

What are you grateful for? Let me know and have a great 11th day of Blogmas! 

Shannon x 

Mental Health At Christmas Time - BLOGMAS DAY 9

Hey everyone, I hope you are enjoying blogmas so far! 

This post is one usual to my typical blog posts, mental health. Mental health at Christmas time is a tough one, always has been for me anyway. I LOVE Christmas, always have and always will but I also fall into depression and anxiety quite badly around this time of year. I think it's because my mind does not want me to be happy and enjoy what is happening. What a fucker.

It is a tough time of year, and that's okay! It is okay to not be bouncing off the walls, going out and getting merry because you would rather stay in and chill out and look after yourself. It's okay to still be sad when you're almost expected to be happy 'because it's Christmas'. 

I have one thing to say in this moment and that is to let go of the pressure of Christmas. Enjoy yourself as much as you can, but don't force yourself to just because of what Christmas is. No one is expecting you to have no mental illness for the holidays, that's not physically possible. You're doing just fine! 

This is a tough time of year as well if you suffer or have suffered from an eating disorder. I look back at times from previous years at Christmas and I've definitely stopped myself from enjoying it as much as I'd like to because I was listening to my anorexia. I would not eat any Christmas treats and be put off food completely. I'm not a massive eater anyway, so every Christmas is still a tough time for me even when I am recovered from my eating disorder - but some things stick! 

This is when you should look out for your support during this time, your nurses or therapists should provide you with emergency support over the Christmas period and use it if you need to! Like I said, it is a tough time and THAT IS OKAY.

TIPS TO HELP YOU THROUGH:

• Take time to yourself when needed and don't feel bad for doing so - Christmas is all about family, friends and socialising for most of us and this means that anxiety levels can be sky high. If this is the case, take some time away...if you're at a friends house just take a moment outside, that's okay! If you are at home then take some time out in your room for 10 minutes to collect your thoughts and bring yourself back round to the present. 

• Remember that you are okay whatever happens - If it is so overwhelming at this time, remember you've got through every other Christmas and even every other day before. You were okay then and you are going to be okay now too. 

• Drink sensibly - Of course people like a drink at Christmas but its good to remember your limits. Too much alcohol can trigger depression and anxiety tremendously, so look after yourself! 

• ASK FOR HELP - and don't be ashamed for doing so, your family, friends and loved ones are there to help and there are services to help you too throughout the season. I would recommend having the Samaritans number saved in your phone as they are open all year round, including Christmas day - 116 123

To conclude, I want you to have the best time you can allow yourself to have but don't give in to the pressure. You do you! 

Shannon x 

Christmas Tag - BLOGMAS DAY 7

Good day everyone! I hope your Blogmas is going well and you're super stoked for Christmas.

I've done a Christmas tag that I just found somewhere online, lots of fun and has me thinking so much about Christmas. 

1. Use one noise to describe how excited you are for Christmas.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH - Which is the noise that little boy makes it that vine,  I watched that DAILY for a long time. 

2. Do you open any presents on Christmas Eve?

Nuh uh, although Dan and I exchanged Christmas pyjamas on Christmas Eve last year and we are making it our 'thing'. 

3. What holiday traditions are you looking forward to most this year?

My favourite tradition is the way we open our presents, it's my favourite thing. My dad will sit and read out the label for the present and honestly, it's the most homely feeling. My Grandad used to do it and those were the best times. 

4. Is your Christmas tree real or fake?

Fake! I think when I have my own home I'd quite like a real tree, but then sometimes they look like utter shite. 

5. What is your favorite Christmas film?

I have a few, The Grinch, The Santa Claus movies and Christmas with the Kranks. Basically if Tim Allen is in it I'm going to feel Christmassy as fuck. 

6. Where do you usually spend your holiday?

Growing up was obviously with my parents, sometimes my Grandparents. But now I am in a serious, grown up relationship so it is split between my family and Dans family. This year we are at mine Christmas Eve/Christmas Morning and then off to Dans in the afternoon. Two Christmases, YAAAAAAS.

7. What is your favorite Christmas song?

Last Christmas by Wham! - Classic. 

8. What is your all-time favorite holiday food/sweet treat?

Pigs in Blankets and honey roasted parsnips can literally do me. 

9. Be honest: do you like giving gifts or receiving gifts better?

Honestly, I get the biggest buzz out of buying and wrapping gifts for people and then I get so excited for them to open the presents. So without looking like a suck up, I definitely prefer giving gifts. 

10. What is your favorite thing about Christmas?

The vibe, is that a thing? Just the Christmas vibe makes you feel all lovely and great. 

11. When do you start getting excited for Christmas?

It depends on the year I suppose, there have been a couple where the month of December has passed and it doesn't even feel like Christmas. But now with a boyfriend and a little nephew it's all a lot more exciting, so I am stoked already! 

12. What is the best Christmas gift you’ve ever received?

That is so hard! I think my dolls house when I was very young was the best, I would still play with it now if it was socially acceptable for a 23 year old. 

13. What is the worst present you’ve ever received?

As much as I love cheese, I didn't really care for receiving an engraved cheeseboard. Maybe when I'm 37. 

14. As a kid, did a sibling ever receive a present that you wished was for you?

Nope, my brother liked games for his xbox and I liked dolls and what not.

15. What would be your dream place to visit for the holiday season?

New York without a doubt, but that is my answer for everything. Dream place to visit for a weekend? New York. Honeymoon? New York. Take a dump? New York. 

16. Most memorable Holiday moment?

I will never forget walking into my Nannie and Grandads living room and seeing the pile of presents so huge that it touched the ceiling. Our Christmases back then were insane. 

17. Do you make New Years resolutions? Do you stick to them?

I do but I rarely stick to them, I can't remember when I ever have. Never been one to say I'll stop eating rubbish in the New Year or go to the gym because it would just never fucking happen. 

18. What makes the holidays special for you?

Family! Always family, and now it's extended it's even more special. 

19. What’s the best part about Christmas for you?

The same as above, creating memories and traditions that I will carry throughout my life! 

20. You have been granted one Christmas wish… What will it be?

To bring good health and happiness to my loved ones. That would be the best. 

If you enjoyed it then you can do it too, let me know if you do and let's chat about Christmas! 

Shannon x 

Welcome to Blogmas! - BLOGMAS DAY 1

Hey everyone! 

It's happening, I haven't done this since 2014 and I've hardly blogged this year at all - silly me. I am here and I am full of Christmas spirit, I'm ready to eat all of the mince pies, watch all of the films and wrap ALL of the presents (Dan cannot wrap presents). 

What is in store for Blogmas 2018 I hear you ask? Well I've got some fun little gift guides for you, Christmas baking, some takes on Mental Health at Christmas time, a look at the last year and what to look forward to in 2019.

2018 has been a big, fun, strange and scary year so let's see what we have to reflect on.

I am super excited for this so please join me and let's have a merry old time! 

Shannon x