Update!

Hi hi hi,

Once again I've been so disgustingly unmotivated to write anything on this blog that I've abandoned it 5eva. A lot has happened since I left university and when I say left I mean permanently which leaves me thinking about the future…

Okay, so here I am a University drop out. Where is my band to start singing around me like on Grease when the chick is a beauty school drop out? Or because I went to a painfully average London university do I not get the privilege?!

All year I spent my time wondering if being at university was the right thing for me, I had THE best time. If you read my blog, know me, follow me on any form of social media you will know this. I made the most amazing friends from all over the world/country, had some mad nights, got to explore London on my one women treks around the city and fell in love with the city all over again. But that's not why I moved there primarily, I moved there to start earning a degree… a degree which I quickly lost interest in. All my life I've wanted to be in the entertainment/journalism industry, so off I went to study a course I thought I would love - instead I was left all year losing my passion for the career I'd longed after for so long. That makes me sad. I'm sad that the passion went and I'm sad that I don't have it in me anymore to complete a degree, I feel LIKE A TOTAL BUM.

But so, so, so many people are the same and don't continue with their studies after the first year, a lot even drop out during! Which I wanted to do so many times but was encouraged to stay. It makes me feel okay knowing that it's normal and fine to not want to be at university. Unfortunately, our generation is force fed the thought that to succeed we need to go to uni but really that isn't the case and I hope and pray that I find my way. I'm currently super lost in a part time temp job, I really want to discover the right path for me and I'm nervous, so very nervous. The big world of being an adult is scary lolzzzz.

What else has happened since I left university…I turned 20, yuck, boring (need to change my blog layout and sidebar, no longer a 19 year old student in London)

I got a little puppy named Sid, I like to think of him as me in dog form - a bit odd and a midget.

I got a boyf lol, the boy I have 'luvved' since I was 14 and dumped him 5 times over 10 months as I was a confused, naive child who didn't know how to deal with having a boy dig her. SO THAT'S INTERESTING INIT. 

Nothing else of any interest has /really/ happened in the last few months that has changed my life…on the mental health side of things I am now at a clinic to sort my eating out and it's super scary but I'll get there. My life is looking up so much, a puppy, a boi, no more education, all I need is a job to get me going and I'll be set.

I shan't be giving up hope on finding my way, it's scary and there's so many people who have probably hit a wall in knowing what they want in life and I'm sure they too have found their way.

OH BEING AN ADULT, WHAT R U LIKE. 

x x 

What I've Learned In Semester 1 - Tips From Me To You.

Hiiiiiii!

Semester 1 is almost over and the past three months have been a very huge learning curve, it's been an emotional roller coaster if I'm honest. I've met people, I've had little mental breakdowns and it's just all been very strange - but also very good. I learnt a lot, some humorous things in fact that I'd like to share with you so heres what I have learned in the past three months and things that I simply want to pass onto you, like tips in a sense I guess? ENJOY.

1. No one knows where Suffolk is despite it being an hour and a half drive away from London. 

2. Parties.

• Just because you have purchased Doritos and Tequila doesn't mean it's a Mexican party, especially when you've eaten the majority of the Doritos before anyone arrives.
• Parties are v different at all unis.
• Someone will steal your voddy but deal with it and move on.
• If someone leaves their voddy at yours because your flat is the usual pre-drink place then it's yours now, simple as move along.

3. Es ee ex.

• People literally do not care if you are a V man or like to hit it whenever possible. Nobody cares, don't worry if you're a Virgin Mary and if you're not Mr/Mrs V then you shouldn't feel the need to splurge your stories over a game of Never Have I Ever - chances are nobody cares unless someone has actually asked…in that case feel free.

4. You'll see some weird things in your life.

• When I say this I mean there's a chance you will be called into your flat mates room to look over at the hotel across the road to see a couple getting jiggy, you might even see a strangers bits and pieces dangling between their legs - THIS IS A THING THAT /MIGHT/ HAPPEN. 

5. Friendships.

• Friendships will blossom from night one at university. 
• Within a week you will have pee'd in front of your flat mates, you might even have a panic attack on the floor while your flat mate has a pee in front of you in your bathroom. 
• Friendships will move at 100mph, you'll go from strangers to best friends within days - it's quite beautiful. 
• Farting in front of your new friends is one of the biggest turning points of the whole friendship, it's real from that moment onwards. 

6. Relationships. 

• Boys/girls you start to dig within the first few weeks aren't ones you need to hold onto for the whole year, you don't need to get hooked. 
• If you give your number to a boy out of pressure on the first night in a proper club in London then you see them on the fourth night and they're like "aren't you -insert name" after you've ignored their texts, it's totally okay to lie and say you have no idea who they're talking about and then run away! 
• Your whole "I don't kiss boys I don't like" mentality might go out of the window, yolo, live while we're young n all that. 
• If you go to uni you might fancy a million and one boys BECAUSE BOYS RULE. 

7. Weird things will be done and it's okay.

• When I say this I mean that it's okay if there's no toilet roll left in the pub toilet and you use the cardboard instead. 
• Also if you've chucked half a bag of Doritos in the bin in your room and the next day they're teasing you so you get them back out and eat them. 

8. I fall over more in this city than I ever have done in my home town. 

• Yep, I seem to have increased my clumsiness. I fell over in Urban Outfitters in super slow motion and got 'pushed' outside Charring Cross and it was absolutely hilarious. 

I swear half of these aren't personal experiences, promise.

Hope you enjoyed! BYYYE SEMESTER 1. 

Positive Tuesdays: Week Four - UNIVERSITY.

Helllooooo!

As you can see in the title this one is about the thing I've been going on about for months and months, my good thing for the week is that I am finally at University!

I moved on Saturday, I actually did it. On Friday I had the biggest wobble of all, even contemplating not moving at all and just giving up before I'd given it a chance and I stayed in bed all day when I had jobs to do before leaving but I couldn't face doing anything because that meant everything was real and it was actually happening, very scary. But I did it, my dad packed the car up and him and my mum took me down to London and here I am, 4 days later and it's like I've been here for ages.

I've met so many lovely people, my flat mates are ace and it's all just been super natural! I never thought I'd start conversations, I was super nervous about going out drinking but I did it and it's been hilarious and just so fun. With all my anxieties still here I'm working through them because I just have to.

My room is huge, I feel like I need to buy furniture to fill it up and make it more like home but I don't know where to start and I should probably prioritise buying food instead of furniture…

My cute little bed. 

I still feel like I need to make it more homely, but my pin board is looking pretty cute so far! 

So yeah, it's been quite hard in some respects but all in all, rather fun! 

How has your week been?! Let me know I'd love to hear! 

x